-Every day, I treat myself to a bit of escapism. Originality is a hoax. Nothing is real except Clarice Lispector’s work. Welch’s fruit snacks taste like glass. I feel empty all the time. -I watch Cocomelon to calm my anxiety. I hate hate hate authority. I am my biggest hater…

-Whenever I walk into a room, I wonder if I’m the gayest person there. -I’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, to bait death to come for me. -I have a perfect nose, it’s a shame since cosmetic rhinoplasty is such a cool thing to save up for. -Normalcy terrifies me. The thought…

-So there’s this girl that has been on my mind. I wake up and I think of her. I imagine syncing my soul with hers. I imagine us in another universe as cats, felines bursting with love. -I’m a simple person. All I want is to own cute skirts, modify my body in exciting ways, kiss strange boys, collect antique jewellery and wear Mary Janes. -I keep looking for new acts of escapism. Last month it was crocheting, this month it is drawing horrible replica’s of monalisa in my journal. Anything to escape from the abyss of my own mind.

-A week ago today marked the beginning of a depressive episode for me. I spent 5 days holed up in my room, wallowing. I slept every night with a prayer on my lips, that I’d sleep past the wake-up call for the living, that I’d die. I felt like a…

Girls literally only want one thing and it’s to live properly. …

I do not like breakfast. I like the smell of petrol fumes. I don’t have insomnia, I cry myself to sleep. I feel like a slime puppy, like Roman Roy. Last night, I felt like Kafka. I struggle to show the people I love that they mean the world to…

I didn’t imagine that I’d spend my 19th birthday eating a bowl of soggy noodles on the floor of my room in school while listening to Gracie Abrams. I often find that I dream too much, that I imagine futilely that life would be kinder to me. I intend to be kinder to myself in this new age. I intend to cut myself some slack. I intend to stop being embarrassed by my existence. I intend to spend more time loving people. I intend to take more pictures and be as weird as I want to be and read more and prioritize my happiness.

Apotheca I have lazed around for the past weeks. I have carried on with my life devoid of that terrifying sense of urgency that keeps me on my toes. I have spent each day watching several episodes of House MD, retail therapying, convincing myself that surely life will get better…

-In this past month, I did the following; Considered starting digital art, sent out an insane amount of cold emails, listened to Peter Mcpoland’s new song 44 times in one day, ate rice and sausages every evening for a week, pierced my septum, ditched Grammarly for Google Docs, built my…